3 weeks to go
My retreat is just around the corner and I’m spending a little time reviewing the one from last year.
I’m curious about where I am now and how much different that is from where I was just before my last retreat.
I wouldn’t say desperate is a good word to describe where I was but I was certainly in need of answers.
I’d just completed the first 3 years of my IT services business and I was feeling burned out. Most days were over 12 hours long and most weeks had 6 and a half working days.
My efforts to grow the business were stymied by just being too busy. Too busy fixing computers to plan and execute marketing plans. Too busy with network & server planning to be attending network marketing events. Having to cancel too many chamber luncheons to fill in on tech work at the office.
We were making money but the margins were pretty thin. Little room for growth, and it felt like an insurmountable number of new clients would need to be added to get another new employee.
Needless to say I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and the only thoughts my brain seemed willing to entertain were the ones about being stuck here forever and not realizing my dreams – I have just made myself a dead-end job to replace the one I had working for someone else.
These are all reasons why the meditation part of this process is so important. When we are too busy to think, our brains will just find all kinds of awful things to consider and without the discipline to manage that, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
At this point of my Personal Retreat planning I have set aside the time for my retreat and I’m re-acquainting myself with the meditation practice. I’m getting psyched up for it too. I really enjoy the park I did this in last year and I’m looking forward to the peace and quiet.
Imagine that countdown to a birthday or holiday where you’re hoping to get some incredible gift that is going to change your life. The weeks and hours you may have counted down to the end of public education and the new and surprising things you might come to expect when you get out into the big wide world. You had no idea what was in store but you knew it would change your life for the better. That’s what this date is all about!
I remember how truly relaxed and renewed I felt after my first retreat. I finally had a plan, and activities to do that were going to bring me some happiness.
Reviewing these notes now, I see a few areas I didn’t make good in, but I’m also not too worried about that. The areas I did make changes in (working fewer hours and taking more breaks) have done more to heal my overworked mind than the new hobbies I’d considered taking up.
I have more awareness of my capacity now and confidence in my ability to plan and execute change.
Maybe just 3 weeks more but I’m excited and encouraged to get this going.