Being stuck can become very evident to people you work with and loved ones early on. You may seem to be grasping at many different methods and activities in order to break free of the anxiety and frustration. Might have a hard time seeing any value from these and begin to judge yourself harshly, disparage others, and refuse support.
Have feelings that these conditions are uniquely your own and nobody else has suffered this quite like you have. You could even begin to convince yourself that there is no solution and begin to even accept this stuck state.
This is a complex situation of wanting to desperately leave being stuck and ironically believing there’s no way out.
How Stuck?
What does being stuck mean? When you’re feeling stuck, it might seem there is really no other thing to call it, but if we think about it a little bit, it could be that you find no meaning, or can’t get grounded in life. Perhaps you feel like you aren’t learning anything, or you’re just bored.
There are probably more than a dozen other reasons, but it really does just boil down to being stuck.
Let’s look at that some more – what makes you think you’re stuck? Are you comparing your life against another’s? Maybe you read that life should be a certain way but it’s not despite your best efforts.
I’ve read a number of “self-help” books lately and many of the authors describe how their lives have become so amazing by following this system they’ve created for themselves and after using it, you can too! After being diligent for several months you just aren’t seeing the results. So there’s some program that you can pay money for and move past this.
It’s a false picture. We can’t fully copy another’s success because we can’t know what resources they have that we don’t. Ultimately, we have to create our own resources with what we have, and they can’t do that for us either.
Then we’re left stuck, because we’re not sure what we don’t have, how to get it, or how to use it to fill the gap to bring us the success someone else has had.
Change the Practice
First off, we have to address the self-care that’s lacking. Belief that there’s no way out is a highly fixed mindset perspective, and it must be overcome through some of the basics.
Review what your sleep and eating have been like. Without good rest and good nourishment, our brains simply can’t function at the level we need to become unstuck. Put the need to become unstuck on hold for a week or two so you can focus on getting yourself reset.
Overestimate the sleep you need. If you’re getting 6 hours, bump it up an hour to 7. Be consistent with bedtime – even for weekends. You might wake up early anyway from habit but allow your body that restful time – and avoid screens like mobiles, tablets and computers for an hour before bed. Consider a brief guided meditation to prepare your mind for rest. These might be unusual for you but remember we’re just trying this for a couple weeks.
Work on your meals to get more whole and less processed foods. I don’t know how you feel about vegetables, but work to get more in your life, in the most whole form possible, raw or steamed. Try to finish eating no less than 2 hours before bedtime. I’d also recommend an abstinence from intoxicants like alcohol. Just for a couple weeks. We’re working on a reset here.
Lastly, spend an evening hanging out with a friend. Take a different way home and stop to appreciate some art in your community or a walk through a beautiful park. Take a walk for 5 minutes or more every day. Do all of these things. Just for the next couple weeks.
Change the Picture
What are we to do with this? We need to create a more reasonable, achievable, and open-minded vision for life – one that we can accomplish with the capability, resources, and potential we have for ourselves.
Without holding up someone else’s lifestyle as a measuring stick, build the vision for your life around what you want. What you love, brings you joy, and gives you the motivation to live the most long and rewarding life you can.
Build the Future
After your reset and subsequent vision exercise you can start anew against the things that hold you stuck and move beyond them.
I’d encourage you to challenge yourself – not just your capabilities but what a great life could be for yourself. Some begin with the belief that they can only build a life to benefit their immediate family. Later by growing and learning they realize they can benefit many more. That could make for a life of philanthropy where you might not ever have considered one.
It might mean you become a marathon runner after making your body healthier and capable of more.
Challenge yourself and keep building your future. Don’t be afraid to see what more you can do and come back to your vision and keep updating it.